Sinitta's Lunchbox

Hey guys. Snit here. I am dieting at the momento, so it's been a bit of a lean lunch box for me of late. I am on the 'Low Fat Pop Tart' diet - recipe book to follow!

So here's what I've been lugging around this week:

(1) Mark Owen - he's very small. Unlike his mobile phone bill.
(2) Low Fat Pop Tarts - the versatile snack that fills a hole like no other
(3) 'Oh Santa' - Mariah Carey's catchy new Christmas offering. It's not 'All I Want For Christmas' but kudos to Maz for churning our a half-decent Xmas number. Christmas has indeed arrived early in the Malone household this year!



I'm off now to film 'Celebrity Taxi Driver' where a group of c-listers spend a week working London taxi's and learning 'The Knowledge'. I'm really excited about working with Vanessa Feltz, Lulu's body double and one of the chimps from the PG Tips advert. I've got strong competition. Wicked!

Sinitta's Lunchbox

Hi guys. It's Snit here. Sorry for my lack of posts. The X-Factor has been keeping me very busy. It's hard work sitting next to Simon Cowell wearing no clothes and saying next to nothing. Then of course I have been involved in the styling of the groups - Simon's category for this years X-Factor. It's nice to know my unique sense of style has finally been recognised !

As you can imagine, all this work means I have been more reliant on my lunch-box than ever - those boy-bands have been keeping my box full!

Here's some of the tempting delights that have been floating my boat in recent weeks:

(1) The Journey - aka the cute boy-band that almost made it through to the X-Factor live shows. Apparently they are not a polished, rehearsed and contriveed boy band - they really are plumbers, electricians and dustbin men.

(2) Yorkshire pudding - my favourite food. Hot. Cold. Any which way.

(3) Fans - a girl can never have enough fans to keep her cool. I have many in different colours to match my lack of clothing!

(4) Nadine vs. Cheryl - as a member of the X-Factor alumni and someone who knows Cheryl well, you can guess why my loyalties lie? That's right - I'm backing Nadine Coyle all the way:



(5) Half a Crispy Peeking Duck

(6) Mary Byrne's Tesco Clubcard (I need the points for my Aunt Bessies')

(7) The upcoming spectacular that is 'Burlesque'. Christina Aguilera and Cher star in this all singing, all dancing movie spectacular. I was of course offered the lead ahead of Xtina but had to turn it down due to my X-Factor commitments. There's a fab soundtrack accompanying the film too, featuring the previously retired Cher, lending her pipes to a Diane Warren power ballad. What more could a girl want?

Re-visiting Xtina's Bionic

Now that the dust has died down, I thought it might be a good time to re-evaluate Christina Aguilera’s ‘Bionic’, in the cold light of day. If Madonna is the queen of re-invention, Xtina is the mistress of the quick change – from her teen pop debut to her retro-inspired third album, touching on R&B, mature ballads and Latin pop en route – Aguilera makes and breaks the rules as she goes along. It is a strategy that has worked until now and given that success, it is no surprise that expectations for her latest offering were high.

The deluxe edition of ‘Bionic’ comes in at a whopping 23 tracks. Admittedly, this includes three interludes but it’s still a hefty collection and more often than not quantity and quality do not equate– an adage which unfortunately holds true in this instance.

The title track is catchy enough but there is nothing new here and the same can be said for the second track and lead single - ‘Not Myself Tonight’ - the highlight of which is Christina’s gutsy lyrics in the chorus. ‘Woohoo’ is a quite frankly embarrassing ode to oral sex and makes Madonna’s attempt at said subject 18 years ago seem like high art. ‘Elastic Love’ is a bit of electro fun, even if the lyric is slightly lacking and ‘Des Nudities’ is the token Spanglish number.

Enter part two of ‘Bionic’, the section which has the most in common with a certain Lady Gaga. That’s not to say that the songs here are bad carbon copies – on the contrary - ‘Glam’ is a pretty slice of electro pop and ‘Prima Donna’ is Aguilera at her tongue-in-cheek best. It’s the ‘Love & Glamour’ interlude, hanging the two tracks together that makes the listener draw comparisons to Gaga. Just as things as are getting good we are back to seXtina. This time ‘Sex for Breakfast’ is more Janet Jackson than Madonna and it’s as if the song has been dropped on the album from another planet (with an obligatory interlude before to try and justify its existence).

It’s the ballads section next. If it wasn't for a third and final interlude, ‘Life Me Up’ and ‘All I Need’ could easily merge into one. ‘I Am’ is a ‘self-therapy’ Aguilera standard and ‘You Lost Me’ is by far the best and most haunting song on the album.

The fourth and final section of the collection feels like it could be a standalone album in its own right. ‘I Hate Boys’ works well with its driving beat, despite the moronic lyrics. ‘My Girls’ mixes electro and disco to positive effect but as before, the two-dimensional lyrics let it down. Aguilera’s back to laughing at herself on ‘Vanity’, and the disco inspired ‘Monday Morning’ features a slightly softer vocal from Xtina. ‘Bobblehead’ has a message. The problem is it’s annoying to listen to so the message is lost. ‘Birds of Prey’ is sublime and probably one of the more mature moments on ‘Bionic’. Finally, ballad ‘Stronger than Ever’ and an acoustic version of ‘I Am’ close the collection on a high.

Critics initial reaction to ‘Bionic’ has been to label it as a Gaga like copy, and whilst there are strong similarities with some of Lady Gaga’s work, the comparison is an unfair one. The truth is that ‘Bionic’ borrows from a number of Christina’s contemporary’s – Madonna, Janet Jackson, and Katy Perry – to name a few. However, her crime here is not one of plagiarism. Instead it is of trying too hard, a fate that befell Kylie Minogue on her 2008 ‘X’ album and with the end result being a collection of almost random songs, selected to try and please everyone. This is understandable given the expectations on Christina for this project, however surprising given her previous tendency to stick two fingers up to what the rest of the world wants.

Sinitta's Lunchbox

Oh dear! This week Sinitta's lunchbox was returned to us in such a state that the best part of the bank holiday weekend has been spent cleaning it out - the dirty bitch!

No grudges will be held however, as the lunchbox of dreams needs to be replenished for the week ahead. So what goodies do we have in store:

(1) Blankety Blank cheque book and pen
(2) Oat-so-simple
(3) Curry Powder
(4) A low quality leak from the Madonna 'Celebration' sessions called 'Broken (I'm Sorry)':

http://soundcloud.com/newsofmadonna/broken-2

Despite the quality, it's a good track - very in keeping with the Confessions era. Here's hoping an HQ copy will surface sometime soon.

Sinitta's Lunchbox

Yum Yum! It's lunch time again with Snit - love her!

What have we got in the un-clothed one's lunch box today:

(1) Three carefully positioned vine leaves

(2) Pot Noodle

(3) Cheryl Cole's malaria tablets

(4) Xtina's new single - 'You Lost Me':

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_QpdhEcmBo&feature=av2n

It just goes to show when Ms. Aguilera sticks to what she does best - heartfelt ballads with a kick - she's definitely not destined for the dumper quite yet!

Sinitta's Lunchbox

Sinitta's lunchbox has just come back from hols (even lunchboxes need a break), hence the lack of post last week. Let's see what lurks inside the lunchbox of dreams this week:

(1) Signed photo of Nerys Hughes
(2) Beef Jerky
(3) Hazell Dean Mug
(4) Remixes for Kylie's 'Get Out Of My Way':

These are two of the better mixes on offer and I can honestly say for the first time in a long time, Parlophone have done us proud - commercial dance mixes that really get you moving!

Introducing ....

.... Sinitta's lunchbox.

Each week we will be having a look at what is in Sinitta's lunchbox.

That 'Snit' - you never know what she's popped in her box for the day ahead!

This week in' Sinitta's lunchbox':

Some lip gloss (probably from Savers)

Cheesy Puff Crisps

A lock of Simon Cowell's hair

The new Freemasons Remix of Hurt's 'Wonderful Life'

What an amazing remix. Well done everyone involved and thank you Sinitta for such a nutrious treat!